Major life events can affect us more than we think. If you’ve gotten a big job promotion or are going through/have gone through a divorce, for example, counseling can help you adjust more confidently to these changes. “Change happens!” is the motto of these times of flux. Because whether we like it or not, change often happens rapidly or unexpectedly, and sometimes the next challenge or change may present itself before you’ve absorbed the last change or had time to adapt. Heck, I even remember when the world operated on manual typewriters and carbon paper…and there was no such concept as the Internet!
Counseling or coaching can help you sort through causes, triggers and put an end of self-defeating patterns if you keep getting stuck in the same old ruts. Perhaps you’ve noticed a pattern in your life of quitting before you finish major projects, or changing relationships in mid-stream only to find yourself back in the same soup again. Maybe you experience unexplained physical problems, or maybe you drink, drug, work or think too much. Maybe you feel as if you never are able to accomplish what you want most, or you repeat the same blunders despite your best intentions. If you want to stop those or other patterns, consider counseling.
Some people aren’t quite sure what’s bothering them, but they are convinced something is wrong. Respect these intuitions that bubble up into your conscious awareness. A counselor can help you sort through the mud and muck of confused thinking to get at the root of what’s bothering you. There are reasons for every distress, even if you are not aware of them at the time. Counselors and family communications coaches are best at “digging up the truth.”
Everyone in life shares many of the same struggles, but most people think that they’re the only one who’s ever experienced their specific problem. Problems are solvable with teamwork! A counselor or communications coach can assure you that nothing is wrong and help you normalize your painful experience. You may even have heard someone who has gone through counseling say, “I wasn’t told something I didn’t already know, but it was nice to confirm with someone else that what I’m struggling with is normal and I’m coping better with it all.” That type of confirmation alone can ease your mind when you feel as if you’re losing it.
Because they’re often vulnerable and open, children and teens often sense a family problem before the adults know about it. If your child shows a quick temper or lethargy, or any other type of unusual behavior, it may be an expression of some pain in the family that is not being talked about. A counselor can help tell if it is a child/teen problem or a couple/family problem. Likewise, if you’re having trouble with your children/teens, counseling can often help you sort out what’s causing the problems and help you figure out what to do next.
Be concerned if you never have an argument with your partner or mate, and be just as concerned if you are always on edge and arguing. Much anxiety, aggravation and dysphoria (feeling blue) stems from relationship distress interacting with personal dissatisfaction. Often we are most afraid of change in our most intimate relationships. Resisting positive changes and being non-communicative smashes the crystal vase of your love to smithereens. A positive partnership or marriage is the best antidote to unpredictable life stressors that catch us off guard.
We all are wise to use many professional consultants, from tax advisers to teeth advisers. It is more common than ever that a family communication consultant or counselor is on par with a family doctor or dentist for good family health. A skilled communications psychologist can be a lifelong friend to your family and ease the many tough transitions you might go through by knowing your family’s unique history.